It has been so long

I can't even think of where to begin. I guess that that would actually be it.

My life is full of physical pain, but filled to the brim with the emotional and spiritual knowing that all is part of the Lords plan and if given to him, valuable.

I had my beautiful daughter here with me for half of her summer break and it was wonderful. My physical being couldn't do what we use to, but my mind allowed me to find plenty of other ways to enjoy our time together (that, and her being so willing to do anything as long as it was with me). I am so very very lucky to have such a wonderful little girl.

Sadly, I also lost my wonderful puppy and Best Friend. I had to put her to sleep after she had been hit by a car. I was so very blessed to have her. She was who made me try so hard every day to not let my physical problems keep me from getting up. I thank the Lord that he brought her to me and will never ever forget how lucky I was to have her in my life.

I also had an unexpected meeting with my High School Sweethearts parents. Let me start by saying that they live in the D.C. area. 9 years ago, Jessica (My High School Sweetheart) died in a car accident a month before we planned on getting married. Also, important to know that she is not the mother of my daughter (long story). I hadn't spoke to hear parents since she died. They saw me and we had lunch at the Charlston Exit on 90 in Mass. It was great catching up with them and sad all at the same time.

Well, its late and I will hopefully be on again soon.

Oh, and as I have said before. If you happen to read this and want a very entertaining Blog you should find Elizabeth Downing's Site. Always worth the Five Minutes.

When the time comes

Where will you be when the time comes?
Will you be with loved ones, or all alone surrounded by many?
Will those you love know how much you loved them?
Will you have accomplished all the things you wanted?
Will there be any secret you wish nobody would find out discovered?
Do you know where you are going?

When the time comes make sure you left nothing you wanted to do not done, so do them while you can. When the time comes make sure you told all the ones you love that you love them. When the time comes make sure you where open and honest with the ones you love so that there won't be any dark secret that they painfully discover. Most importantly make sure that you try your best to live right by god and for god that you will know that you have been forgiven and know where you will be going when the time comes.

Celebration

I often wonder why we wait for specific events to have a celebration. Why not just throw a party for the simple fact of celebrating that we live? I think I am going to do just that. A party simply to celebrate that we are alive. Any ideas for decorations and food?

A walk in the rain

As the rain falls and covers the earth in a layer of moisture, a walk makes me remember that we all have rainy days. With those days you have an option to seperate yourself from the outside or take a nice walk. I hope you all walk

With in my Realm

As hours become days become weeks become months and then eventually years, I strive to achieve the most from my life. I read as often as I can about anything and everything. I attend church and try to help others in anyway I can. I pray that my physical being becomes what it once was or at least close. I pray that I keep my sanity in the midst of my own frustrations. I also hope that I can be all that I can be for all the people who mean something to me. This is all with in my realm of possibilities.
You must never quit and always strive for being the best you can be. Strive to have the best of the best of everything you want, and mostly strive to be the best that the Lord would want you to be. This is all with in my realm of possibilities.

A Fleeting Moment

Well, I have to say that I enjoyed having somebody to talk to and get to know. Sadly, I can tell she is not the one I see in my future. Great, but just not perfect. Perfect is not that she will have no faults, but perfect that she will be perfect for me. I am tired of the search, yet I haven't really been searching. I wonder if Ms. Rightforme is ever going to be discovered.

A good morning thought and challenge

Have you ever wondered why some can seem to have everything they want go their way and others seem to have everything they try go wrong? Is there really such a thing as luck? Do you have good luck, bad luck, or no luck at all?

I am challenging myself and you to stop, take a deep breath, and give something crazy a shot. Maybe take a chance this weekend on a trip you have thought would be fun but never have tried. Call a few friends and go dancing or sing karaoke. Just do something you have never done. Worst that is going to happen is that it isn't something you would do again, but at least you have finally tried.

Scared or am I a chicken

While on a visit to New Hampshire last week, I met a lovely young lady. From across the Restaurant I saw her and was instantly taken. Now let me make it clear that I find many woman attractive in this world, but very rarely does somebody make my heart skip a bit. I was with my Brother and His wife and made a comment to my brother about it. I never have had issues with meeting very nice women, but for over a year I have not had any that made a spark. I have found some very interesting and enjoyable but really only know them from a computer contact stance. This, now this was different for me. Awhile later my brother and I stepped out for some fresh air (a.k.a. smoke), and out comes the before mentioned woman. My brother simply looked at me and said "On that note I will see you in a little while". I knew he expected me to finally try to talk to her. Nervous at first being that she was with several friends I proceeded to speak to all of them. Quickly it became a conversation for mostly the two of us (careful to not exclude others, but them making the move to make it her and I). So as the night progressed we talked about many many things and I found myself completely in a trance by this woman. Amazingly beautiful, funny, smart, and successful at what she does. We found that we had many common enjoyments (especially the Red Sox's). As the night continued found ourselves just letting go to the evening. I had so much fun (also found myself staring into the eyes of somebody I would really like to get to know better). When the night was coming to a close I got her number and asked If she would like to have dinner that Wednesday. She agreed and I walked she and her friends to the care, as they all were teasing her and calling me Eye Candy (which obviously I took to be very complimentary). I kissed her goodnight- a move I never make when just meeting somebody. I went to my Brothers house and hung out for the remainder of the night unable to stop thinking about her.
The next day we were texting and speaking on the phone numerous times. The connection I was feeling was one that I am unfamiliar with. Enjoyable and scary at the same time. The next day, being Monday, she had work and then called me to ask if I were in my Hotel room and if she could come say hi. Of course, excited by the chance to see her again, I said yes. She came by while on her way to the gym and ended up spending over an hour with me just talking. She had to let me know that her Job was sending her to DC for the rest of the week the next day and would have to reschedule the dinner night. She would be returning Friday night but I was leaving Thursday night to return home for doctors appointments. Understandably canceled I was still excited that we had another chance to see one another before I left.
We have spoken and texted each other every day since and speak on the phone every night. Very few people do I desire talking to on the phone, but it is something I look forward to every night. I can't help but call her beautiful all the time (example: Hey Beautiful, not just telling her she is beautiful. I use it more like a name) and she calls me Sweetie and Sexy. Its funny thought, I am so scared that I am really starting to like her, and worried that it might not be the same. Why? I don't know. The calling me every night and sweet names should make me confident, but I am so scared of getting some how hurt I am feeling like running away. My heart is saying just see what happens and my head keeps saying what the hell are you doing. Going on only two weeks, I am not saying that I am in Love or anything, but I am definitely finding myself unable to stop thinking about her.
Why is it that I feel the urge to jump ship before its even hit an Iceberg and sinking? Why can't I just stop thinking and let what will happen happen? I just need to get out of my own head and way and trust the Lord to show me if this is right or wrong. I need to trust that if she finds herself not interested that she will just be open and honest and tell me.
I will tell you though, she is pretty darn awesome so far. My heart still skips a beat just from her calling and texting me, and when I kissed her and hugged her it felt like time managed to just stop and my heart stopped along with it. I can't wait to have some time to get back up there and finally have a real date night. I have never had such anxiety in meeting somebody and excitement at what may lay ahead. I have for a very long time always viewed my dating experiences as making a new friend. Almost all of the women I have dated are very close friends and I've been the guy to simply show them how a man is to treat a woman (not trying to sound conceded, but most men have forgotten that being a gentleman is what makes a real man). This woman on the other hand makes me think that maybe I am not destined to be alone. I'm not saying that it is her, but at least I see real possibility.

Never Ending

So, I have told the story before of how last year I was struck by a truck and have suffered some severe nerve damage. Now, Workers Comp has decided that because I am only palliative and not curable they are going to just leave me out to dry. New Jersey has the worst WC Laws of any state. They protect the company and allow them to mistreat injured employees. The one thing they didn't count on is that I don't ever quit. I will get better eventually. I will win my case. I will also get back to being the boss one day again soon. My big goal though is to be the extremely physically active man I once was. I have the blessing of being able to savor life and I will not let that go.
This process of recovery has felt never ending and without all my friends, family, and the Lord I can't say that I would be able to stay this strong.
Take a moment and remind those you love how much you love them, then get out there and savor all life has to offer. You never know when it can all be taken from you.

When is it just Dating or a Couple

Have you ever met somebody who at very first glance there was a spark? As you get to talk to them you realize how much you also have in common. What makes the difference between dating and being a Couple? How long do you need to be together before that can be decided (does it even matter how long)? Is the man responsible for making that first leap for more, or does he wait on the woman (Lets face it though ladies, we guys are pretty stupid and mostly are scared of rejection)? How does one know if somebody is truly into them? Is it because they call and text everyday just to talk to you? If they call you sweetie, or sexy, or babe is that a clue?
All these questions and how many of us can actually with out hesitation say they can answer any of them? Please let me know what your thoughts are.

So very Funny

I have this very brilliant woman I follow on her Blog. She writes about pretty much anything but every Wednesday has a "THOUGHT". So far I have never been disappointed with anything she has written, actually always finding it funny and insightful. She will just as easily Speak of Dating topics as she will poke fun at herself. I find it very enjoyable. I will ask her if it will be okay to put her info up, cause it is well worth your time.

The Funny thing is...

How much humor do you find in your day to day life? Do you laugh often, or not often enough? Do you try and find humor in things or what for just the obvious?
I have noticed how many people walk around with an almost scowl like expression on their faces and wonder what could possibly be keeping them from smiling (cause scientifically true that a smile is easier than a frown)? I sit a silently contemplate (well, usually silently) why people or lacking even just a little grin. I have come to the conclusion, with nothing at all to back it up, that most have simply let go of trying to savor and enjoy life and figure they will do that when they retire or the weekend or something. I just can not for the life of me understand why anybody would ever want to spend the majority of their life just pushing through and getting by. Even before health issues, I have always tried to live in the moment, love all, and enjoy everything. I have never stayed with a Job if it became boring simply because of a paycheck. Money means nothing if you are so unhappy you are unable to really enjoy it. Actually, until the accident the continuous search for a job I truly enjoyed always seemed to pan out for the best in regards to greater pay and a better understanding of things I like and dislike in regards to working environment (I know that was a long running on sentence).
Remember to smile everyday. Laugh everyday. Love everyday. Promise that if you do life no matter the situation you are in will improve at least a little.

When do you know, or how do you know?

How many of you have had somebody you wondered if they might be interested in you (weather or not you were) and could just not put your finger on it? Which sex do you think is more obvious of there intent towards somebody they like? How, if at all, would you try to get the answer to the question of their feelings for you? Bold and Brazinly just ask? Or, do you just poke around and hope the answer comes about?

Putting in the time

We all have friends and family who we wish we could see a little more often. Are you willing to wake up an hour early and go to breakfast? Maybe, take a two or three hour drive to see them and the same drive time back, just for a couple hours with them? How about your spiritual relationship? Do you go to church regularly or just on the holidays? Do you converse with him daily or just when you are in need of something? Have you ever just talked to him on a daily basis and thanked him for both the good and the bad? Have you attempted to read to hear his reply to a question you have been wrestling with?
On both topics I recommend really trying to make the time needed to strengthen your relationships. The rewards for those efforts are truly worth it.

Fleeting Moments

How many of us had had a moment in time that we wish we could have paused and enjoyed a little longer, or worse rushed through and then realized what we had just missed? I am one who believes that we should savor all that life gives us, but still will catch myself speeding through an event and then realizing that it could have been so much more.
I challenge you to spend a week finding opportunities to stop and really really live in the moment and enjoy every little detail. See what a difference it makes in your outlook on life, but also how much more there really is to life.

Another Karaoke Song

Hey everybody. I hope you are all getting to enjoy some of this beautiful weather. I went to Karaoke again last night and thought I would put another song on here. Really, let me know what you think.

Me singing Karaoke Baby

You know, there is just something so fun about doing karaoke that I can't explain. Drinking at once was the only way I could do it, but know I can finally do it sober. Take a listen and let me know what you think. The song is "Wicked Game", by Chris Isaak. Second Sexiest video ever made. The sexiest video I have ever seen is actually just with Tim McGraw sitting across from his wife Faith Hill in the "I Need You". If you have never watched the video, you really should. Tell me what you think about that too. Don't forget to tell me what you think of my singing. I am always looking to hear from you.

It's been awhile

So, I have been thinking to myself how quickly time goes by and how as a kid you never understood what your parents meant by time flies. Sucks. As a kid people would say that they slept wrong and I would always think, what kind of idiot screws up sleeping. Now I realize I am one of those idiots. Time Flies by and 10 years ago feels like yesterday, and now I can agree with them. It sucks getting older, but at least I look good doing it :}. Well, I hope that who ever might be reading this is having a wonderful time and that their life is treating them to beauty and lots of love.

Dance

If you have somebody who is your significant other take a moment and put on some soft and enjoyable music that you can dance to. Light a few candles, pour each of you a glass of wine and take time to hold each other close and dance. Dance in your living room, in the kitchen in the middle of doing dishes, or walk up behind him or her while they do laundry, pull them close, kiss their neck and dance like you may never be able to hold them close and dance again.

Is she out there?

At almost 33 years on this planet, I have had the pleasure of Dating amazing, beautiful, funny, intellegent, and loving women. They are all so very special, but only one ever made a room lite up every time I say her. Made my heart skip a beat every time I touched her. Made me feel as if I were invincible just by being around her. Every women I dated have amazing qualities and will make some man very lucky, it just wasn't me. As soon as that realization ever came, I would automatically break up, cause I don't believe in stringing somebody along, and am a very passionate man who wants the fairy tale, with the hard work that goes with keeping it like that.
After Jess passed away, I lost focus on what and whom I wanted, because I thought she was gone. I believe that there must still be Ms. Right somewhere though, I just haven't met her.
So any women out there who might read this tell me what women really want from a Man. Tell me the best way to meet and approach women. I have never had problems meeting them or getting dates, but believe you can always improve yourself and this is one area that I need lots of improvement.