At this point in my Life

You know at this point in my life I've done so many things wrong, I'm not sure I can do things right. I've had a rough life and haven't at this point in my life ever step out of the shadows while I look for my life. I've been climbing mountains but mostly stumbling down. Right know I do the best I can. Before I take another step or make any more promises, I need to forget about my past. At this point in my life I just need to make a significant change. The search for an honest life is all I really need wether I find it or not. I seek redemption, but the Lord has already given it. At this point in my life, how do I make something different of myself. Pain controls my every movement and resentment and confusion control my emotions. I want so badly to move on at this point in my life. Right know, I'm doing the best I can.