Merry Christmas

I hope that any and all who might read this have a wonderful christmas. Its the time of the year were we should all be reminded that he came here to save us from ourselves. It is so easy to receive the best gift ever, you just turn your life over to him.
I am so bad at keeping up with this. I haven't had the strength to get out of bed much lately.

Off to Jersey

I have a medical appointment tomorrow in Lakewood, NJ and its at 9am. Normally I have somebody available to drive me, but not tomorrow. So, my plan is to drive myself there in a few minutes and stay with my brother over night. At least this way, I can be there and keep my appointment. Long drives kill me, so they take even longer due to me constantly needing to stop to rest. But it must be done. So pray for my safety if you would and that I can do what I must.

How do I do this?

Yesterday was a day that I just couldn't push hard enough to get through the pain to get up and do the day. I lied about in such pain. It's so hard when I have almost always been a man of constant movement and positive thoughts. Yesterday though, it was staying still and constantly wishing that this life would just stop. Just being still is brutal, add movement and it's like being in hell.
I first wished to be like I was before, but now just wish I could be somebody all together different. I have given my life to the Lord and waited for a miracle. I now realize if I want that miracle I need to keep pushing and praying for it. I just don't know how to do this anymore.

Take time to give thanks

As I have said in previous postings, I am very faithful to my Lord. I give thanks first and foremost to Jesus's sacrifice and my subsequent freedom from punishment for all sins. I thank him for his message, for his grace, and for his love. I try to apply his teachings to my daily living, although often failing miserably. He forgives me for that though, and knows that my heart is dedicated to him, and again I thank him for that.
Look around though people, all our lives give us reason to be thankful. Some peoples lives more than others I will agree, but all of us have something that we could and should be thankful for. Many of you are blessed with a significant other, children, family & friends, work, homes, cars, entertainment, food & beverage, health, etc.... We all have breath that you must be thankful for, for each new day gives us another opportunity to achieve attaining a life we desire. Look at the earth and the beauty she gives. We have sunrises and sunsets that make the sky blaze. We have oceans, seas, lakes, rivers, streams, and even puddles that entertain, provide, and mystify. The Mountains that seemingly rise to the heavens, with snow caps that show us the harshness of them. Valleys and plains that have such an array of beauty that I can't name. Miracles, beauty, and so many other things to be thankful for. So, I wanted to take this time remind myself of this.

Attempts at "LIVING"

Yesterday I had said that I was going to oversee my friend with some repairs that he needed to have done. I assisted a little, but mostly just watched and instructed. The simple feeling of being useful is such a great thing. It give you a feeling of purpose.
After finishing I ended up going out with my parents and meeting up with some mutual friends for some drinks. I irregularly drink anymore, but managed to over indulge myself a bit. I didn't get very out of hand but still let myself let some of my more obnoxious side escape the confines of my mind. It was very very enjoyable non the less.
Pain could have kept me from doing any of this, but I prevailed for a little while and enjoyed all that I could. By and By, if ever you are in the Pocono Pennsylvania area you should check out the Pocono Brewery. The staff was friendly, the atmosphere energized, and the drinks nicely priced.

What is it all for?

Have you ever just found yourself looking at your life, and feel like screaming from disappointment at what it is? Lately that is a common occurrence. I have little ability to do most things physically that I once enjoyed, or that even is necessary. I try so hard to push through the pain, but can never accomplish much of anything. I'm treated by almost everybody as if I am crippled. I wish they would realize that it isn't that I am crippled, but that I simply have challenges that slow me down. That isn't to say though that I can't eventually succeed if I keep at it.
I have such difficulty sometimes dealing with the fact that my body won't release me from the pain. As time progresses my body seems to just become more difficult to use. I wonder why this has happened, but then come to the conclusion that there might not ever be an answer. THAT SUCKS, but life was never promised to be a constant joy ride.
I do know that I will never let my joy for life be taken. We are given this short, fragile, and precious gift for "LIVING". It is not given to be wasted away just complaining and never attempting to make it better. I don't care how many times we are knocked down, stand back up, shake off the dirt and move forward.

What to do?

Physically it is not a day where I am capable of doing much of anything. The act of typing is painful. My goal is to visit with my best friend Steve (a.k.a. Wyatt) and his family. I will assist in telling them how to do some difficult home repairs. I would love to do them, just with the RSD, my pain really prevents much in work or play. I try to do something everyday though, so I might do a little there. I am also going to go to the ski resort across the way from my house and watch people enjoy life. I might try to hike around the resort to get to view all types of activities. I need to bundle up though, its only maybe 20'F out today.
So time to shower, get dressed, and begin the adventure life has in store for me today. I am excited to see the miracles everyday offers us if we just keep our eyes looking forward and up, not just at our feet.

Are you sheep or the Leader

My mind is currently moving faster than I can follow, so this simple act of writing feels so difficult. I was thinking earlier have how so many people are sheep to others. They follow blindly with an almost inability to think for themselves. Why do they surrender themselves to other people? Are they afraid that if they were to decide for themselves they may fail?
You look at all these cults where some Psycho gets so many to harm others or themselves. The followers walk so willingly a path that their said leader tells them to. I know that many would say that about me when it comes to my faith, being that I am a devote Christian. I say I am not, because I follow God, not a mere man on a power trip. I would never follow my Pastor or some other Leader into anything blindly. I would never harm another being or myself at the request of another human being.
I am one who is always being described as marching to the beat of a different drummer. I think we should all be that. Why do you march to the beat of someone other than your own drum? Do you hear your drum? Are you like so many, and can't hear it? Then stop, close the world for a little while and listen. Find your drummer. Find your rhythm.
Is your drummer playing the same rhythm as everybody else? If it is, I say stop a bit longer. For we are all different, so our drum should not be anybody's but yours. Some might be similar, but non should be the same, except maybe your spouse, since if its healthy you are both one.

Let's get started

Yesterday, I had decided to create a blog for myself. It isn't necessary that I ever get any followers, it would just be more motivating. So, last night I created my first blog ever, so if anybody out there could give me some tips on creating the overall look that would be great.

So today is my first day, what do I write? What do I do with my day?
When it comes to my mental state, most who know me say I am a bit crazy. Most would take it as an insult, but I know they're right. I day dream, have odd thoughts that are often blurted out. I have a million thoughts a minute that range from very general to grandiose. I love it though. I also view the world as a giant playground the Lord has blessed us all with. We are to help as many others as we can, but have fun doing it.

So, my set up for my daily blogging will be my general state of mind, and then what I desire to do. This will be how I start the day, then at the end of it I will write again my general state of mind, something that I might have discovered about myself or the world, then what I accomplished with my day and something I wish I might have done.

Lets push the limit

I call on who ever shall read this to truly push the limits of what you can do. Spend time reading others blogs, but utilize them to improve your life. If you blog yourself, lets not make it about simply talking, but a call to action. If we speak united, and live to see the miracles life offers, we can change our world.
Although pain is my challenge to bear, it is not my disability. I shall lead my life to overcoming all things. I will explore the depths of my mind but also the depths of the earth. I will view the earth from the top of mountains and see the vastness of my mental potential from the peaks of my imagination. Time is to swift to catch, but steady enough to fill our sails.

It must be traversed

Today is my first day, I woke knowing that for myself I must find direction. I realized in order to achieve true contentment in life, one must be content with themselves. Sadly, that is not me. My physical being is in true 24/7 pain. The accident January 12th of 2009 has made it necessary for me to examine "ME", and who I truly am.

I must embark on this journey and find it amusing to invite anybody who wishes to come. Feel free to comment constructive in positive tones. I embrace life, and know must learn who is living it. This journey must include truly living life, exploring the physical world as well as the one with in me.