Yesterday was a day that I just couldn't push hard enough to get through the pain to get up and do the day. I lied about in such pain. It's so hard when I have almost always been a man of constant movement and positive thoughts. Yesterday though, it was staying still and constantly wishing that this life would just stop. Just being still is brutal, add movement and it's like being in hell.
I first wished to be like I was before, but now just wish I could be somebody all together different. I have given my life to the Lord and waited for a miracle. I now realize if I want that miracle I need to keep pushing and praying for it. I just don't know how to do this anymore.
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